The Last Queen of Narnia
by Kathryn G
Summary: A story about Susan after the train crash that killed her family. Tells of her healing process and the people who help her through it. Will eventually cross a lttle with Peter Pan.
1. The Lost Horn

I can't ride trains anymore. It really isn't very surprising, but it is terribly inconvenient. My aunt and uncle came to London as soon as they heard the news. At first I thought it would help to have someone to grieve with. But it didn't take me long to figure out that they weren't ready to grieve. Neither was I really, I was still in shock. We met in the house where my family used to live. The house that was now filled with phantoms and shadows. I made them both tea, eager to keep myself busy as I wasn't ready to think yet. There was a long silence before my uncle Harold spoke.

"We didn't know he was going to the train station," he said, "why was he there?" I could already sense the anger in his voice. I did know why he was there. But I couldn't tell him. How could I tell him that his son had been caught up in the same lot of nonsense that my siblings had. Yes, nonsense, that's exactly what it was. And look where it got them. They're dead. They're all dead. And they had to pull our cousin into it. I thought all of this bitterly and hot tears came to my eyes. It was ridiculous to blame their childishness; it wasn't what actually killed them. But still, if they had just listened to me…

My mind wandered to the last time I had spoken to my older brother. I had been preparing to go to a party with my friend and was irritated at the knock at my bedroom door. I answered it reluctantly and greeted my brother.

"What do you want?" I asked harshly.

"I need to talk to you, it's urgent," he answered. I already knew what it was going to be about, so I rolled my eyes.

"Talk then." I said, leaning against the door frame.

"Alone, please." He said, and pulled me into the hall. "Look, we were just at the professor's and…"

"I really don't want to hear about it," I interrupted.

"Please!" He pleaded. I folded my arms across my chest, but kept quiet. He continued, "We saw someone. A man, we think he needs our help. We think he might be from Nar…" I cut him off again.

"Why won't you stop?" I cried out. "Why are you so ridiculous? It's not real! It never was real! It was all a game! Why do you insist on it being real?"

"Because it is!" His voice was escalating, "It is real Susan! You were a queen! You were a queen of Narnia! It is real! You have to remember! Please!" He had put his hands on my arms and I pulled away sharply.

"No! It's not. This is it! This world is all there is. You were never a king, Peter. And neither was Edmund, and look at what you have done to Lucy! Why don't you leave them alone and grow up?" At that moment, Lucy appeared from around the corner. Her eyes were full of tears. Lucy…" I started, softer now. She shook her head. Peter broke the awkward silence.

"We're leaving for a while Su." His face was set so that I couldn't tell what he was thinking. "We should be back by tomorrow afternoon." And with that he turned and walked off. Lucy and I looked at each other a moment longer before she turned and followed her brother. That was the last time I saw them.

I had not been brave enough to collect the things believed to have belonged to my siblings that were found near their bodies. So my aunt and uncle brought them. It wasn't much. Two suitcases, an electric torch, two green rings and two gold. But I wasn't interested in any of that. My heart jumped and I gasped when my aunt handed me a white horn. I stared at it a long time before it began to sink in. It was my horn. But it wasn't. It couldn't be. A feeling rose inside of me telling me it was. It was a feeling of panic. Of grief. Of guilt. Of horror. I tried to push the feeling aside, but it was no good. I tried to speak, but nothing came. And then I fainted.


	2. The Likeness of a Lamp Post

_Okays. Here is my second installment of my very fist fan fic. I know my writing isn't very good, but I hope you enjoy anyway. If there are any inaccuracies (sp?) with the Narnia Chronology or anything PLEASE let me know. I know the Pevensies didn't live in London, sorry. I'm not exactly sure what is going to happen, so bear with me and THANK YOU for the awesome reviews._ _Oh, and the aunt and uncle aren't heartless, I just don't want to talk about them as much as Susan. _

* * *

I was falling through endless darkness. I can't say for how long, but it felt like hours. I thought of nothing, my mind was completely blank, just like the inky blackness I was falling through. I landed on cold ground. It only hurt a little so I stood slowly. I couldn't tell what I was standing on, it wasn't grass or earth. It was bitterly cold and I wrapped my arms around myself. I started walking forwards, but as I did a fierce wind started blowing. It screamed in my ears and tore into my very soul. I cowered down, trying to shield myself from the icy blasts. I cried out, but no one came to my aid. I was completely alone and shivering in the darkness that enveloped me.

"Susan!" I felt my body being shaken awake. I opened my eyes to see aunt Alberta's face very close to mine. "You fainted." She said as if she was reporting the weather.

"I did?" I asked wearily. My head was spinning and I wasn't exactly sure where I was. "I don't think I've ever fainted before. Maybe I have…Peter caught me…" I trailed off.

"Don't talk nonsense Susan." Alberta helped me up. I saw my uncle out of the corner of my eye, he looked annoyed. "What you need is some rest." My aunt put her arm around me, not in a show of comfort, but rather to pull me out of the drawing room. She started talking about how I was too warm, needed fresh air and the like, but I wasn't listening. I was thinking about the horn. My mind was slowly clearing and I was feeling more like myself. My aunt pushed me into a room and shut the door behind me. It wasn't my room.

It was my brothers' room. Light streamed in from a large window, but it did not cheer me. The light looked cruel and mocking. I inched forward, but stopped again. I wanted to leave and go to my own room, but I found that I couldn't. I continued walking forward. The room was quite tidy, considering that two boys had previously inhabited it. There were a few things that had been thrown about, and Peter's bed wasn't made. As soon as I saw that, I immediately went to it and began adjusting the bedclothes. After I had finished, I stared at it for a moment. Then I messed it back up again. I was suddenly angry at myself for touching it. It wasn't my right. It was Peter's bed. He could fix it up if he wanted to.

I turned away and started to leave again, but something caught my eye. It was a painting hanging on the wall. It was one of my sister's paintings. She had become a very accomplished artist before she died and had the skill of one who had been painting for a decade. I studied it, admiring it before I took in what it actually showed. It was a lamp post in the middle of a forest. There was snow on the ground and in the trees. It looked as cold as I felt. Around the lamp post were four persons. They were dressed in fur coats and were holding hands.

"Ridiculous," I said aloud. But it wasn't what I was thinking. I said the word again, thinking that I would make self believe it ridiculous. But I didn't. I hadn't cried for my family yet. But now it was sinking in. I would never see Edmund again. I would never tease Peter. I would never laugh with Lucy. I would never be embraced by my parents. Never again. The first tear slipped down my cheek. I walked over to Peter's bed again. I didn't feel numb anymore. I let go of my mind, my body and my heart. And I cried myself to sleep.


	3. The Unpopular Queens

I didn't see or talk to anyone for three days. I only left my brothers' room to sneak down to the kitchen at night and to use the toilet. I barely ate; I didn't change my clothes or bathe. The bathroom mirror showed a girl I didn't know, so I didn't look. Occasionally my aunt would shout from behind the door announcing that there was a friend or relative there to see, but I never answered her. They weren't my friends; they were my family's friends. My friends would call, but I didn't want to talk to them. The fact that they didn't come to see me personally hurt, and besides, I knew what they would say. I realized I wasn't being sensible, but I couldn't bear to face them. They would only talk about my family; I didn't want to talk to them. I wanted them back.

During those three days I had nothing to do but think. I thought about the woman I had become, and I found that I didn't like her at all. I remembered the time when my best friends had been Pete, Ed and Lu. That hadn't changed when they died; it had changed long before that.

I began to drift from my family the first year that Lucy went to St. Finbars with me. The first couple months we stayed close. It was hard for both of us, but Lucy really struggled because it was her first time at boarding school. I looked after her a lot and though we were in different rooms, she often snuck into mine at night. We would talk about Narnia, the imaginary country the four of us used to play in. She had a hard time making friends; she seemed so much older than the other girls, yet younger at the same time. She just didn't fit in. I didn't fit in either.

I was very lonely and hungry to be loved and popular. This was the real reason for the change I suppose. I stopped spending as much time with Lucy and began trying to fit in with Abigail, the most popular girl at our school. Although we all wore uniforms, she seemed to wear hers more stylishly. Her hair was always flawless and she always wore the latest style of makeup. She was always surrounded by a large clique of girls who idolized and followed her. The teachers even loved her. She appeared to be not only beautiful, but kind and warm. One morning I decided to do my hair just like she had done the day before. In my mathematics class, she complemented me on it and smiled warmly. From that day on I sat with her at lunch and spent as much time with her as I could. The need to be liked was even more intense. I spent my money on make up and jewelry instead of books as I used to do. Lucy began making friends as well, although they were misfits and outcasts. She seemed to be happier however, so I didn't say anything about it.

Every Sunday the girl's from St. Finbars and the boys from Hendon house just down the street, met together for church. I would always sit with Pete, Ed, and Lu until Abigail asked me to sit with her. I glanced at Peter and I could tell that he didn't want me to go with her, but I went anyway. I was worried that if I refused her once, she would never ask again. We sat in the back with other girls and looked at the boys. We would whisper in each other's ears and giggle. Abigail told me that she thought Peter was the handsomest and that she would like to go to the dance we had every year at Christmas with him. I giggled and said I would tell him. At that moment, Peter turned and gave me a reproachful look. I didn't like Peter being upset with me, and I knew I was being disrespectful, but I kept talking with Abigail. I was afraid of losing the friendship that was beginning to blossom between the two of us.

It only continued to get worse from there. The day of the Christmas dance I was in Lucy's room helping her get ready. She was very excited and talked non stop to me and her new best friend, Martha.

"Of course," Lucy said cheerfully, "It will be nothing compared to our balls at Cair Paravel, but-"

"Lucy?" I said surprised. Martha was smiling broadly; she didn't seem surprised to hear the name of the castle mentioned.

"Oh, don't worry Susan. Peter said it was all right for me to tell Martha about Narnia. She promised not to tell anyone, and I trust her." Lucy was Martha's only friend and I knew that she would never tell a soul. I found myself smiling. It had felt so wonderful to be able to talk about Narnia.

"The dresses were certainly more comfortable weren't they? And prettier. Speaking of which, I had better go get ready. I'll meet you back here after I'm done." I said as I finished curling Lucy's beautiful hair.

"Thank you Susan." Lucy said as I left her room. As I headed back to my room I thought about Lucy and Martha. I was happy for her, and I envied her that she had someone else that knew about Narnia. I suddenly wanted to tell the whole world. After all, it was my favorite place, a place I had been queen of for 15 years. I opened the door to my room and was delighted to see Abigail primping in front of my mirror.

"Hello Susan," she said, not taking her eyes of the mirror. She had been even nicer to me since the day I sat by her in church. "Your room mate has already left, so I thought I would come help you." She looked at me. "Why, you haven't even started!" I still wasn't used to the hours of Abigail and her friends spent on their features. She let me borrow one of her dresses because she said that mine were out of style. She also did my hair and makeup, I looked beautiful.

"I haven't been this dressed up since…" I trailed off.

"Since when?" Abigail asked, carefully sitting on my bed so as not to crease her dress.

"Never mind. You won't believe me." But the desire to tell her about the wonder of Narnia was more than I could control.

"Try me." She said. I took a deep breath. I knew that after I told her, I would be her best friend. Who wouldn't love to know such a wonderful secret?

"Do you believe in other worlds?"


	4. Turkish Delight

_Ok! Here is the fourth part of The Last Queen of Narnia. Thank you for your patience! I didn't know people actually liked my story, but I've received a few emails asking me to continue. I had stopped for a while, but then I read a short story about Susan which made me rather upset, so I continued my version. If you like it, please review, so I know. If you don't, review and tell me what I could do better!_

* * *

My memories were interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

"Susan!" My uncle called, "An Alice Darling is here to see you. I ignored him as usual. The last person I wanted to see at that moment was Alice Darling, Peter's fiancée. She had already been around several times and each time I refused to meet her. "She has brought us a supper. You really should come out." I rolled over and faced away from the door. I had never really paid Alice much attention. She was a plain looking girl who was more than a little odd. I never understood what Peter saw in her.

My mind drifted back to the night of the Christmas dance. As I lay there, I thought of how foolish I had been. How could I have actually believed in Narnia? It was completely impossible. How could I have believed that I was once a queen of an entire country? How could I have believed that lions could talk…But I did. And so I told Abigail.

"Do you believe in other worlds?" I asked, sitting next to her on my bed. She didn't answer right away. She stared at me, surprise written all over her face.

"What do you mean?" She asked, "Like other planets?"

"No!" I said, getting more and more excited, "Another world entirely! You see, all the planets and everything are in our world. But there are other worlds, other places entirely!"

"I see," she said slowly, "and how do you get to these other worlds?"

"Well, there are many ways. I've gone two ways myself, but I've heard of other…"

"Wait," Abigail stopped me, "you mean, you've been to these…other worlds?"

"Only one." I said.

"And how did you get there?"

"The first time, I followed my sister through a wardrobe."

"A wardrobe?" Abigail said, lifting an eyebrow.

"I know, it sounds impossible."

"And, what is this world called?"

"Narnia," I whispered. I hadn't meant to, but the word felt too wonderful on my tongue to say loudly.

"Right," Abigail stood up. "And are their talking rabbits and a queen who yells, "Off with your head?""

I laughed. I knew she was referring to _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_, which happened to be one of my favorite books. "Not quite. There are talking animals. And there was an evil queen."

"Really?" Abigail sat down and leaned in close to me. "What do the talking animals say?"

"Well, anything we can. I remember two lovely beavers in particular." Abigail laughed. "It's true." I added simply.

"Why," she said, her expression changed, "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yes…" I said cautiously. "I am. And I knew I could tell you."

"Could you take me to this world?" She asked.

"No," I said. My heart sank as I said it. The pain that accompanied my last memory of Narnia was still very real. "I can't go back. Neither can Peter. We're too old."

"Peter?" She asked, surprised. "You mean, your brother?"

"Yes," I answered. "You do believe me don't you?"

"Of course I do!" Abigail said gaily. "What are friends for?" And with that, she wound her arm through mine and we left for the dance. We separated and I went to find Lucy. She, Martha and I made our way slowly to the dining hall where the dance was to be held, after all, high heels are painful.

The hall was decorated with Christmas trees and a band played Christmas songs from the stand at the end of the hall. Lucy and I spotted Peter and Edmund. We walked over and greeted them. "Hello," Peter said. He looked very handsome except for a new, shiny, black eye.

"Peter!" Lucy and I shouted in unison.

"What did you do this time?" I asked.

"It was my fault really," Edmund stepped forward.

"Thanks Ed, but I don't think right now is the time to talk about it." He smiled and dismissed the issue with a kingly wave of his hand. "Now, which of you three lovely ladies would like to dance?"

"You go a head; I'm supposed to meet someone." I waved goodbye and started searching for Abigail. After a while, I gave up and went to the bathroom. I was safely hidden behind one of the stalls, when Abigail and her clique entered.

"But she must have been joking!" A girl said.

"I thought so too, but she was completely serious." Abigail answered.

"I always thought Susan was more sensible than that."

"Well, she must have hit her head over the summer." Abigail said, which caused the girls to giggle. I froze. My hand was pressed against the stall door, but I lowered it slowly.

"So, did she say what the country was called?" Another girl asked.

'Not country, Lisa, _world._" Abigail managed to say between giggles. "And I think she called it Narnina or something. I don't know. But that isn't the worst part."

"Oh dear…" a girl gasped.

"She said her brother went with her!"

"Edmund?" Someone asked.

No, not him. I always knew he was a bit off, but her older brother, Peter."

"You mean, the tall one, with the dreamy blue eyes?" Another asked, giggling even harder.

"That's right! Isn't it awful?" Abigail sighed. "I was planning on making him my beau.

"Well, maybe she was lying." A girl piped in.

"Of course she was lying. What do you take me for?"

"No, I meant, about Peter. Maybe he doesn't believe in this other country."

"World!" Abigail said and all the girls collapsed in laugher. "You're right. I suppose I'll have to ask him, won't I?" Finally, all the girls left in yet another fit of giggles. I stayed where I was for a few more seconds before I pushed the door open and walked towards a mirror. I stared at myself for a long while, not really sure of what I saw.

Abigail hadn't believed me after all. I was angrier with myself than I was with her. I shouldn't have told her, but she had seemed like she really cared about me. My tears smudged my makeup, which made me even angrier. I had learned my lesson. I would never tell anyone about Narnia again. I took a deep breath and wiped under my eyes as best I could.

When I re-entered the hall, the first thing I saw was Peter waltzing with Abigail. I felt a knot tighten in my stomach. Maybe he would say it was a joke. _Please Peter, _I pleaded silently, _say it's a joke. _The song ended and Abigail left Peter to rejoin her friends. I couldn't decide who to go to first. I didn't have to. Peter caught sight of me and lost no time in hurrying over to me.

"Susan," he began, and I immediately felt like a disobedient daughter.

"What?" I snapped. I felt guilty, and still very angry.

"You told Abigail about Narnia." He said, crossing his arms over his chest, but it looked more like he was defending himself than advancing on me.

"So?" I said, putting my hands on my hips. "Lucy told Martha."

"She talked to me first." Now I was beginning to be mad at him. "I knew she wouldn't tell. But Abigail…"

"I don't have to ask your permission to talk to my friends. You aren't my father, Peter." He opened his mouth to respond, but I cut him off. "And you aren't High King here."

"Susan, calm down." He said, running his hand through his hair. "All I meant was that you need to be more careful about who you tell."

"I can tell anyone I want." I said.

"Su," Peter said gently, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right? You seem upset…" I pulled away from him.

"Of course. I'm fine. Are you going to tell me what Abigail said or not?"

"She asked me if I've ever been to Narnia. And I asked her who told her. She said you, and I said that I had." The knot in my stomach tightened.

"And then?" I asked, my mouth was dry.

"She started asking me all sorts of questions about it. I didn't tell her anything. I could tell she didn't believe me. She was just being rude."

"But you said you had been to Narnia," I said, more to myself than to him.

"Of course I did. I don't think I could lie about that." He couldn't. But I could. I found Abigail dancing with another boy; I waited for the song to finish. When it did, she headed straight for me. I made sure to speak first. I started laughing.

"My brother told me that you believed me about Narnia!" As soon as the icy words fell from my lips, my legs felt weak beneath me. I was suddenly cold. The knot didn't loosen. It tightened. Abigail stopped dead and looked surprised. Then she smiled.

"Me?" She asked. "Don't be silly! I could tell you were joking! You're brother on the other hand…"

"He keeps it up for Lucy. She still believes in it. It was a game we used to play. Every word hurt more and more.

"Well, enough with this Narnina business." Abigail picked up a box of Turkish Delight from a nearby table. She offered me some as she continued. "We need to find you a boy to dance with." I smiled and selected a piece of the candy. It tasted wonderful, for a moment I forgot how horrible I felt. As she slipped her arm around my waist, I looked over my shoulder. Peter and Lucy were waltzing while Edmund and Martha were talking excitedly. Part of me longed to join them, but then Abigail introduced me to Mark Benson, a boy I had been crushing on for years. And the small part was ignored.


End file.
